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Writer's pictureal_not_all

the tyranny of the "What's Next"

[Note: this is in the context of professional life and work.]


The What’s Next is a monstruous, scary beast, one that many people experience every day. It lurks in everything we do, from getting ready in the morning, to being stuck in traffic, to doing our jobs, to engaging in hobbies, spending time with family and friends, and even trying to sleep. The What’s Next is insidious, and seems to grow and grow as we age. It can sometimes be a helpful monster, guiding us towards goals and achievements. However, at its worst, it can also consume us.

 

For the last... thirty years (?), my life has been a litany of,


“What’s Next?”


“What’s Next?”


“What’s Next.”


For as long as I can remember, my focus has been on trying to reach the next step. The focus on the What’s Next? starts when we are kids, with questions like, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”. Throughout my academic career, the tyranny of the What’s Next? has been particularly strong. I needed to get the best grades, have the best SAT scores, and do more extracurriculars so that I could get into a good college. In college, What’s Next? was ever-present. I had to choose a major so I could determine What’s Next?. I had to get excellent grades, do internships and service, involve myself in leadership, and help faculty with their research, all in the service of the What’s Next?.


In graduate school, the What’s Next? loomed larger and scarier; the stakes felt higher. I was always looking forward, focusing on the next thing, since the What’s Next? could make or break my future. Finish one manuscript? On to the next one! Submit a grant? Decide which one comes next! Finish data collection on a project? Time to come up with multiple ideas to start writing about. The emphasis on the What’s Next? made it feel like life was a never-ending revolving door of to-do items, which made me feel hopeless and frustrated. Would it never end?!


Paramount was the focus on how my work would help me achieve my goals. I’ve heard that line over and over and over: “We want to make sure you are getting what you need from this (whatever “this” was), so that you can achieve your goals.” There was never any focus on the process of my work, just on the outcome. If I wasn’t focusing on the What’s Next?, then I was riddled with guilt; I would never add lines to my CV, I would never get a “good” job, I would never have a “good” life. I was so focused on making myself a competitive candidate for a nondescript future, that I became my work. I became a product, not a person.


As I’m writing this, I’m surprised that I’m starting to tear up a little. Because despite all of this focus on the What’s Next?, I am not working in a job I thought I wanted, and I am less financially stable than when I was a graduate student. Despite all of this focus on What’s Next?, my life did not pan out the way I thought it would.


To be clear: I am in my current position and life situation by choice. I decided to stay in my current city and pursue opportunities here for the short term. And I’m glad I did! Making this move has allowed me to engage in activities I never thought I’d have a chance to, and has allowed me to focus on building myself as a whole person, not just a mindless automaton working for the What’s Next?.


Surprisingly, I’m not tearing up because I feel like I’ve failed. I’m sad because I feel like I’ve spent so long focusing on the What’s Next? that I let life pass me by.

 

In my experience as someone living in the United States, our society is obsessed with What’s Next?, especially in the context of work. Psychologists call this “future orientation,” referring to an individuals’ ability to picture future events and states (Szpunar, Watson, & McDermott, 2007) or one's desire to dedicate their attention to future goals (Shipp, Edwards, & Lambert, 2009). To some extent, future orientation can be a useful thing. Future-oriented individuals are better at planning for their careers (Zacher, 2014), which may lead to increased achievement in the workplace for such individuals (Fried & Slowik, 2004; Zacher, 2014). Future-oriented folks may also be more likely to participate in a 401(k) retirement plan, thus setting themselves up for financial stability in retirement.


However, there are a number of negatives of future orientation. Individuals who are deeply future-oriented, like I was (am?), can’t focus on things that are not “productive,” (i.e., not productive towards work goals) like hobbies. They may become so stuck on meeting a future goal that they become boring workaholics who can’t put effort into anything that isn’t in pursuit of a perceived future. Future-focused folks may be afraid of losing time when doing things that are not driving goals. At its worst, future-oriented people may become hypercompetitive in their workplace (Keller, Spurk, Baumeler, & Hirschi, 2016), leading to increased stress and discomfort. Our obsession with What’s Next? makes sense when we consider the nature and importance of work in a capitalistic society. Our lives are consumed by work and productivity - and often for good reason; with massive inflation, rising costs of living, and stagnant wages, many of us has to work constantly just to survive.

However, the persistence of a future-oriented culture makes for some really unfulfilled individuals, myself included. I feel that I harmed myself and my own wellbeing by fixating on the What’s Next?

 

My hyperfocus on the What’s Next? led me to put all of my energy and attention into my work, and caused me to actively avoid anything that wasn’t productive. I would make excuses for why I couldn’t do anything fun or enriching, saying that I had a meeting the next morning, or had a long day of writing or grading. As a result, I had few friends, almost no hobbies, never exercised, and ate like shit. I spent most of my time not working either a) napping, or b) watching Netflix. No shade to folks who enjoy those things - I still enjoy those things! But they were basically the only two things I felt I could do; in my mind, I couldn’t do anything else, lest I expend precious time and energy engaging in activities that were unproductive. I genuinely believed I was a boring person, because I couldn’t muster the energy to be interested in anything. Combined with my intense perfectionism, which told me I had to be perfect at anything I tried, it was really difficult to engage in activities just for fun.


Moreover, the focus on the What’s Next? hurt me, because I was pursuing projects to meet goals that I’m not sure I really wanted. I was so hyperfocused on the What’s Next? that I never stopped to question why I was doing the work I was doing. I just knew that there was some big, almost divine, End Goal™️ that I was supposed to be working for. Once I reached that goal, ever out of reach, I would finally be happy and fulfilled. I would magically have all the facets in my life that I needed: friends, family, hobbies, work. However, that goal was never clear to me, and it still isn’t. This makes the realization that I’ve been servant to the What’s Next? even harder to deal with.


I’ve written about this elsewhere, but I didn’t realized how hyperfocused I had been on the What’s Next? until I finished my degree. After defending my dissertation, I took what was intended to be a short break from research/academic obligations and realized how much of life I was missing. I started hitting the gym more! I took up new hobbies! I read books! I slept well! I dealt with a chronic health issue! I finally felt like I had the time and space to do things that were not work-related. I felt released from the tyranny of What’s Next? if only for a short time.


I am not suggesting that people suffering from the tyranny of the What’s Next? simply take a three month-long break to focus on their families, friends, and hobbies. Given the nature of our capitalistic world, most people don’t have the privilege of being able to take a break for a few weeks or months to focus on the present and on things other than work. Most people have rent and bills to pay. I did not stop working entirely - I still work part time to make ends meet, and I still am.


I am also not saying that I have escaped the What’s Next?. I have not leveled up, I have not escaped feeling the pressure from those around me. Mostly, people asking about the What’s Next? are very well-meaning. They approach interactions with me in the lens of our society; they assume that I am just as future-oriented and goal-focused as everyone else. But it’s hard to not react to people referencing my assumed future professional goals with frustration and resentment.


I am still dealing with the What’s Next? each and every day. Trying to release myself from the pressure of What’s Next? is one of my goals for this year. I think that not feeling the pressure of working towards my next step will be freeing at this time in my life, and will allow me to work on what I really want in life: someone who has a variety of interests, and engages with these interests in a way that builds a full, interesting life.


This is not to say I don’t have goals. I have goals across numerous areas of my life, mostly related to my hobbies. However, I am trying not to focus so much on the What’s Next? of my career. Instead, I’m trying to enjoy the other aspects of my life that were buried under my pursuit of career goals that I not sure I want. It’s a little scary to say I will not be focusing on What’s Next? right now. I fear judgment from my friends and colleagues, who may not understand what I need. I’m not sure about other work environments, but if they’re anything like academia, people place a lot of emphasis on chasing goals and advancing in one’s career. I’ve focused on that for so long, I need time to decompress and work on building myself up as a whole person.

 

Here are some concrete steps I am taking to not focus as much on the What’s Next:

  1. I set goals for this year that mostly focused on my hobbies and personal life (e.g., fitness goals, financial goals, drinking more water), and purposely limited the number of professional goals I set to three. If I achieve more than that, great, but I limited this to ensure I was making progress in other areas of my life.

  2. I am intentional about the amount of time I spend each week working. I will never work more than 40 hours in a week (broken up between paid and unpaid work (i.e., existing research projects).

  3. I am also intentional about engaging in at least one hobby per day, even if it’s just reading for a bit at night. Having a dedicated gym schedule (one of my hobbies is fitness, and yes I am that person) helps, as I am going to the gym or working out most nights. But at minimum, I make time for one “fun” activity per day.

  4. I am saying yes to more things that interest me, and treating work as if it is getting in the way of me enjoying new hobbies (this one is hard, as I’ve been taught that hobbies only come after all the work is done).

  5. I have given myself permission to suck at stuff and to do things just because I enjoy doing them. I keep repeating: YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE THE BEST AT EVERYTHING. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO DO THINGS FOR FUN. It doesn’t always work, but I am trying to build that mindset and make it a habit.

These steps are not easy, and may not work for everyone. I have to be very intentional about how much time and effort I’m spending at work, and cognizant of when I’m in danger of spending more time than I want on work. But these are some ways I have kept the What’s Next at bay, focused more on the present, and focused more on things that I enjoy.

 

For most of my life, I let the What’s Next consume me. I got lost in thinking about a future that had no shape, living for that future instead of focusing on the life that was right in front of me. While I have certainly not defeated this monster, I am more aware of its presence in my life. Awareness is helping me to take steps to make this monster a bit less threatening. Slowly, little by little, I am escaping from the tyranny of the What’s Next?.

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